10 Months After Baby

The dust is beginning to settle down.

I've officially packed away my Medela breastpump a few weeks ago. It was bittersweet, like moving away from home for the first time. I couldn't remember clearly a time when my body was truly purely mine - not pregnant or breastfeeding. I weaned very very gradually. If needed, my son still nurses but just to fall asleep. I can now go to the office with just my laptop bag and my purse - wow, no more cooler and breastpump bag. I can now be out of the house for a whole day without feeling I will burst or wondering if my son is going hungry. But of course I miss my bigger breasts and I miss the incredible closeness to my son. Now, nursing time has made way to play time. I'm good with that.

My household is starting to come together too. For awhile, I thought there was something incredibly wrong with me. I just couldn't put together my household. Just as it seemed solid, it would fall apart. I admit I'm a bit overstaffed right now but it's a pretty happy bunch I have. I come home to a clean house, happy children and smiling faces. What more do I want? (knock on wood, may my household stay stable)

I'm getting the groove back at work. I worked for a straight day today... as only a fellow working, breastfeeding mom would appreciate. I felt like I was on a roll... in my zone. No pumping break in between! And boy did it feel good. I guess the epidural left some of my brain intact after all.

After living in black leggings (the only thing that would fit) for the past year or so, I finally caved in and embraced my new shape. I got a pair of jeans a full size bigger. I am no longer in denial. Yes, I have mommy curves. At least now I can wear a regular bra to accentuate my mommy curves.

Ten months postpartum after 22 weeks of complete strict bedrest - a toddler, an infant, moving houses, going back to work, breastfeeding, travelling for work -  oh what a ride this year has been. As the dust settles, I look around and thank God for the help of my husband (who has I'm sure lost more than a few hair this year), my mom, sisters and the entire support system behind me. I really wouldn't have made it without you all.